Here are the top 10 reasons you are paying too much for college – and you have only yourself to blame.
- Comfort dogs. Check one out at the campus counseling center to reduce your anxiety on tests or in meeting that special someone for a date. Whether you use one or not, the campus probably has them, and they are not free. Specially trained to help our young people with anxiety, many campuses employ them because they cost less than their human counselor and they make excellent campus spokespeople… spokes-pet?
- The all-you-can-eat buffet. If your campus has one – most do – remember that Jimbo the jumbo lineman pays what Buffy the 90-pound freshman pays, but he eats 10 times more.
- Dietary requirements. While we are on the buffet, think about all the allergies, preferences, organic, gluten-free, vegan choices each school must cater to. What we expect from colleges and universities is costly and outrageous, with the added bonus of putting on the freshman 15. But then I just food shamed…
- Athletics. Back to Jimbo. You think football is cheap to produce? Think about all of the uniforms and buildings/fields necessary to host a team. Not to mention coaches! But you like to have diversions while you study and besides, winning games builds self-esteem while bringing in players who ultimately are students too, right? Football isn’t the only sport that costs big bucks to produce. Pick any sport.
- Scholarships. They cost a ton. Some schools have discount rates of 20%-30% or more. Discount rate? Yes, the real tuition rate. You aren’t paying full price, are you? What it says online is just the starting point. You need to negotiate, which lowers the cost for you, but raises the price for some other guy who is paying full price. Some schools call them presidential scholarships or something like that. The reality is that if you pay less, someone needs to cover the cost.
- Top-quality faculty. No TA (teaching assistants) for my kid! Sounds great, but the higher the degree, the higher the cost. Doctors don’t come cheap. I know, I am one. Further, the higher the degree, the less time you typically spend teaching in the classroom. In fact, most academics prefer to spend time with their research, which builds their academic vitae, which means they cost more money to acquire. If Buffy or Jimbo actually get their Ph.D., you are paying big bucks and are likely to be in a lecture hall with hundreds. So much for good andragogy!
- Sabbaticals. Those profs go on sabbatical, which is really a paid long-term vacation, which yields little for the student but costs tons of bucks.
- Top administration. The titles are grand – regal almost – deans and provosts and chairs. If they are so needed, why does it take so long to fill a position? Some schools go with interim presidents for months or years, despite the salaries these positions demand. And today, most college presidents are glorified fundraisers. They need to raise the funds to pay the students the presidential scholarships that they give out (see #5). Think about how many schools advertise the number of scholarships and grants they disperse. Those are not free. For the president, the game goes like this: the more scholarships given, the more students. The more students, the happier the trustees. Happy trustees mean better capital campaigns, which leads to bigger and newer buildings on campus. Cranes on campus is job security for the president.
- New buildings. They are a cost to you. In fact, all that equipment costs you money whether you use it or not. Nothing is too good for my Johnny, only the best!
- Plethora of majors. I throw this one in there so I can use my extensive word smithing thanks to my liberal arts degree. The average college kid goes to two different schools and changes their major three times. All those changes and transfers cost you money and, besides, international theology is different at every school. Johnny deserves current and cutting-edge curriculum. Cha-ching!
The expectations placed upon colleges today by the consumer are outrageous. In an attempt to meet demand and not fail in meeting enrollment requirements, the games are played until someone says enough. Enough!
