Many moons ago, when I was a young professional, I heard this career advice: “You don’t have to do a lot different to be a lot different.”
At the time, this meant that you didn’t have to be on the cover of Fortune or Forbes magazines or own a mega-yacht in order to distinguish yourself. In today’s social media world, where you can daily see shiny, happy faces in active lifestyles and sometimes exotic travel, distinguishing yourself seems more difficult and pressure to succeed is off the charts.
Listen
Most people today simply do not listen. Experienced professionals may have a story they stick to no matter the evidence that things have changed, making their information or perspective if not irrelevant, at least less than optimal. Emerging leaders and young professionals tend to rely on technology to garner facts or a preponderance of social media activity to support their point of view. Continual change and changing fortunes create pressure to be visible and relevant. This creates a lot of noise.
Add to this a poisoned political and social environment in which lines are drawn based on differences and epithets are hurled to silence those who have divergent ideas or values.
When you listen without feeling a need to correct, defend, or fix, you keep your mind open to understanding what someone is trying to accomplish and the ways in which his or her efforts are being thwarted.
Engage
With this insight, you can work to develop new and responsive solutions.
Here is where engagement sets you apart. Staying mentally present, even when you hear disappointing or upsetting information, requires discipline. This is also true – perhaps more so – when a discussion becomes trite or boring.
In heated exchanges, people are conditioned to defend or protect themselves and their allies. Withholding comment can be perceived as acquiescence or weakness. Not so. Keep your wits about you and your eyes and ears open. What you learn will be invaluable.
Another aspect of engagement involves placing information within an appropriate context. This requires an understanding of the situation itself, the larger environment within which it exists, the individuals and groups that have influence, and a historical perspective. Naturally, this takes time to develop. When you are new to a group, you may feel compelled to offer your brilliance in order to establish your presence. To stand apart, reserve your growing wisdom until it can truly shed new light or offer new insight.
Communicate
Communicating effectively is the visible payoff of listening and engaging. Here you decide what you will do with the information you receive. Of what value is it and to whom? How will you share it? What is your motivation?
Let’s say you hear from an important client about a flaw in your ordering process which involves your online systems, customer service and external fulfillment partners. The client was shuffled from one toll-free number to another and one agent to the next only to be told that until your website is updated, his order cannot be processed. Naturally, he is upset. In fact, he told you he is seeking an alternative provider.
Sadly, most of us have experienced this particular frustration so often that we chalk it up to the “new norm” of business. You may be tempted to offer an explanation for why your system is currently unavailable or caution your client about working with an inexperienced provider.
Resist this. Resist, too, the urge to shine your own star internally by offering a brilliant solution to this complex problem. Focus instead on championing your clients and your organization. Report facts as you learn them, reserving judgment or commentary. Help where you can and stand down when it is time. This combination of confidence and humility is counter-culture. It is smart business. Practiced consistently, it can make you truly unforgettable.
Susan A. Marshall is an author, speaker and the founder of Backbone Institute. (www.backboneinstitute.com). She can be reached at (262) 567-5983 or susan@backboneinstitute.com.
