Achieving personal potential is something we all desire, but limiting beliefs can sabotage and paralyze people to a life of unrealized goals. Ambitious people stand frozen in their tracks, unable to move forward, victims of these dream poachers.
What are limiting beliefs? They are false generalizations that are stated as fact and accepted as truth. They can show up in many different ways, with the most common being the voice that sits on your shoulder and says, “Don’t do that – you’re gonna fail!” or “Who do you think you are? You don’t have enough (education, money, connections, smarts, commitment, etc.)” They are also the negative emotions like self-doubt, jealousy at others’ successes or fear that body slam your wish list and make you feel wholly inadequate.
Left unattended, a limiting belief can hold you hostage to a smaller, less vibrant, less happy you.
Where do they come from? Limiting beliefs often develop in childhood – a time when we are emotionally vulnerable to the judgments of others. Adults, especially parents and teachers, can profoundly impact the self-esteem of children and students when they make derogatory statements or criticize. What may appear to be an innocuous statement can leave deep and lasting scars to the emotionally sensitive.
Later in life, limiting beliefs often develop when we try new things and fail – a difficult or emotionally devastating experience can birth a new limiting belief with profound implications.
Some of the most common limiting beliefs include:
- “I am not…(good enough, smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough, etc.)”
- “I need to have…(education, money, connections, etc.) in order to …”
- “I don’t deserve to…(have a great relationship, be the No. 1 salesperson, get promoted, etc.)”
- “I’ll never amount to anything significant because …”
- “I always make a mistake – and mistakes are bad.”
- “I don’t…(make smart decisions, hire good people, communicate well, etc.)”
- “What happens when they find out…(I’m not as smart as they think I am? etc.)
- “There are never any shortcuts for me.”/ “I always have to take the long route.”
People who yearn for a better tomorrow allow this false, yet powerfully destabilizing, barrier to prevent them from enjoying their full potential because they don’t know what to do.
Reclaim your personal power and be on your way to a better, more fulfilling life by following these four simple steps:
- Acknowledge the limiting belief.
Admit it. Define it. Recognize how it shows up in your life. - Put it in a locker and hide the key.
Once you’ve defined it, store it someplace where it can’t get out unless you decide to unlock it. You can do this physically by writing it down on paper and locking it in a drawer or chest, or you can do this figuratively by imagining you have a “limiting belief locker” where you store these ugly critters, with a combination only you know. - Replace the limiting belief with an empowering belief
Now, think about that limiting belief (sorry, but it’s only for a moment), write it down once more, and then next to it write its antithesis—a fully empowering statement. For example, if your old limiting belief was, “I’ll never amount to anything significant because I am stupid,” next to it, you might write, “I AM smart, special and successful.”
Whenever possible, use the words “I AM…” to begin your statement. This calls forth the divine self and your highest potential. When you read it or say it out loud, own it. Internalize it as your truth. Your heart will recognize it and smile. - Do a dress rehearsal
Finally, in your mind’s eye, see yourself taking action, no matter how small. Let’s say you’ve always wanted to start your own business or go back to college to get an advanced degree. Think about that desire, and then state your new empowering affirmation. You might say, “I AM smart, capable and I always land on my feet,” and then take some small action. For example, you might call to schedule an appointment with a business executive who can help you make some valuable connections or write a business plan; or maybe you contact the admissions office of a local university to discuss its application process. Do ONE THING that moves you in the direction of your dream and demonstrates your personal commitment to yourself.
If, for some reason, the limiting belief pops up, pretend it’s a song you can’t stand playing on a radio and turn the volume down, or push the “off” button. Or if the message appears to you like a poster on a wall, imagine tearing if off and put it in the locker with the other limiting beliefs. Misery loves company, so invite them to have their own pity party. When you are done, state your new mantra, “I AM …” knowing that YOU are in control.
On this journey, your resiliency may be tested from time-to-time (it’s not personal – it’s life). Maybe you don’t receive the support you expect from the people closest to you or the funding you were promised falls through at the last minute. No worries! Simply reframe the experience by not internalizing it as a barrier, but rather as a gift. You might say, “That door shut, but it was probably the wrong door for me anyway. There is probably something I didn’t know about that situation that wouldn’t have worked out. Another and better option is just around the corner.”
Then remain in a place of hopeful expectation.
Limiting beliefs have power because they seem like truths, but your heart knows the difference. Step into your power by starving the limiting belief of what it craves most – fear, doubt and worry. Instead, focus your attention on your bright future and desired outcome.
-Christine McMahon advances sales success by providing strategic sales and leadership coaching and training. She is co-founder of the Leadership Institute at Waukesha County Technical College’s Center for Business Performance Solutions, and can be reached at (844) 369-2133 or ccm@christinemcmahon.com.
