When I answered the phone, Mary Ellen said, “I had you in my ear.” She and I had worked together in an executive coaching relationship for six months, and I was curious about her statement. Here is the story:
Mary Ellen is a senior executive at a Fortune 500 company. She and her team are responsible for auditing the finances of the company in order to present accurate numbers to the executive team and their board of directors. The meeting to present the data was Monday morning. Late Thursday afternoon, one of her team members called Mary Ellen to report that the numbers were off – significantly – and nobody on the team knew why.
She has come to appreciate that when leaders “explode,” employees often shut down. They react to the emotional hijack the leader is experiencing, and they become hijacked themselves.
The stakes were high. This was a situation that required full brain power by all of the team members.
When Mary Ellen met with her team, she communicated clear expectations.
“We’ve got to find the mistake, correct it and create a process so that this issue will not happen again.”
Mary Ellen assured her team she would work side-by-side with them to resolve the issue. She assured them she would “have their backs.” She expressed confidence that together, they would unearth the mistake. And she let them know that if they were not able to discover the cause of the mistake within the timeframe, they would develop a Plan B for the scheduled meeting with the executive team and board members.
Everyone on the team was able to breathe. Everyone was able to think.
This level of interaction was new leadership behavior for Mary Ellen. Her pattern in the past was to blow up; assign blame; and protect her own image and ego. As a result of the work she did in her coaching process, Mary Ellen not only recognizes when she is emotionally hijacked, but also now has strategies to cope.
The team and Mary Ellen put in long hours, working through the weekend. Together, they discovered the mistakes. They quickly resolved the issue and designed a plan to prevent it from happening again. On Monday morning, they were able to confidently present the financials to the executive team and their board.
As leaders, we need the opportunity to accelerate our skills. We need to appreciate that we have blind spots; that we rarely know what impact our behavior is having on others. Few people are willing to tell us the truth.
An effective executive leadership coach “tells truth to power.” An executive coach supports the leader in developing new skills to lead and guide his or her team; influence peers; and provide needed direction for boards. An effective executive coach challenges a leader’s beliefs.
Like so many leaders, Mary Ellen advanced to a senior level within her organization because she demonstrated excellent functional skills. Others listened to her because of her functional competency. Now, her primary responsibility is leadership.
In order to be successful, she must create a new toolbox. And while she grew up with authoritarian leaders who used intimidation to garner compliance, that style of leadership no longer works. It does not call out the strengths in others. It does not inspire them to be the best they can be.
CEOs often find that engaging with an executive or leadership coach offers them a level of safety. They welcome the honesty. They welcome the space for reflection and consideration of options critical to the success of the organization. They welcome a relationship in which they have the freedom to be vulnerable.
Seasoned coaches learn to ask questions that invite leaders to recognize what they already know from the inside out.
Mary Ellen is learning these three responsibilities of leadership. She is learning to: define reality (articulate a vision and expectations); say thank you; and that becoming a servant leader means doing all she can to support the best in her team.
Perhaps this is the time for you to consider engaging a leadership coach. You deserve the support! n
Karen Vernal is the president of Vernal Management Consultants LLC, a Milwaukee-based leadership and organizational firm dedicated to “igniting the spirits and skills of leaders.” The company is one of two firms in the nation to be certified in emotional intelligence through the Institute for Health and Human Potential. For more information, visit www.vernalmgmt.com.
