Just to be clear, if I write an entire column about one particular bourbon, I am not being compensated, influenced or cajoled. (Although I wouldn’t rule out that happening at some future point.) But I think I’ve found a great deal on an under the radar bourbon and I want to share it with you, gratis.
I recently crossed paths with Green River, typically a $30 to $35 bottle of bourbon, and found it to be really impressive for the price. And there is nothing like finding a great deal before the masses catch on!
Green River is not a sparkling new, NFT-like, 3D-printed new kid on the block. I just hadn’t heard of it before and discovered that it comes from one of the oldest distilleries in Kentucky—1885-old, that is. But any oversight on my part can be forgiven since, despite its amazing stories and legacies, Green River Distilling was derailed by fire, prohibition, war and about a century of lying low.
Over the years, family members of the founder, other families, other distillers, corporations and conglomerates have kept the distillery’s original location in Owensboro, Kentucky. Green River’s founder, Colonel John W. McCulloch, called his bourbon “the whiskey without regrets.” Quick aside: in addition to considering smoothness, taste and general likability, I judge a good bourbon, like a good wine, by how likely it is to give me regrets. And I tend to think that if it is really cheap, it is probably gonna give me a headache.
Because I recognize that I am not a practiced reviewer—I just know what I like—I wanted to see what real reviews said about Green River. They mostly seemed to concur that it is a very nice bourbon with hints of toffee, pastry, hazelnut, cinnamon, vanilla and caramel. Which is why I’m not a reviewer: I pretty much only taste bourbon. But when I am enjoying a drink, I confidently say there are usually not hints of Slim Jim, Popeyes chicken or Bazooka bubblegum.
I also should admit that the first thing I think of when hearing “Green River” is the image painted in my mind of catfish and dragon flies from the Creedence Clearwater Revival song of the same name about a creek in California. But to my surprise, there actually is another recording wherein you can hear a reference to Green River bourbon.
It is on the album “Sinatra at The Sands,” a 1966 release of a Frank Sinatra show at the famous Vegas casino. Musically, the album includes absolutely timeless classic songs, performed perfectly. But it also contains a couple of his very “different era” monologues that could easily crop up in an “All in the Family” script and get someone instantly cancelled today. At one point, Frank describes his first employer, Major Bowles, as drinking Green River bourbon, which, he says, “takes the paint off your deck if you’ve got a boat. Fifty-nine cents a gallon, baby!!!”
The man behind Green River bourbon, the aforementioned Col. McCulloch, was so ahead of his time that he might have been the only guy in the late 1800s who ended his sentences with “baby!!!”
McCulloch was a political appointee in charge of testing the strength of bourbons, and through that connection, he bought into the Green River operation in 1888. He evidently wasn’t afraid to spend money. He built a facility with what, back then, was a very costly construction, including skylights to bring light into the bourbon aging process. He also once traded 20 barrels of his bourbon for a stake in a Colorado gold mine. Literally and very luckily. By the way, Green River’s bottle is curved like a horseshoe.
With all that history, you’d think someone would have mentioned something to me about Green River over the past 138 years. I’m glad I just discovered it. This is a solid bourbon aged five years, and I can safely call it “an old fashioned bargain, baby!!!”
Steve Palec is chief marketing officer of Milwaukee-based commercial real estate development firm Irgens.
